Holy cow!

“Cows are such placid creatures and would run from the likes of you,” I said, trying to persuade her to love at least one of Nature’s many creatures.
“Does placid equal dumb?”
“Moooooo…moooo..”
“What the hell was that!” my fanciful muse had taken a step backwards, her hand upon her beating heart.
“That was a Drakensberger,” I said, managing not to guffaw.
“What the hell is a Drakensberger?” she asked.
“A cow, turn around and look at it will you?” She turned ever so slowly, only to find that the dreaded creature had sidled up to her and was about to rub its snout against her Neiman Marcus mohair sweater. Its tongue was lollygagging about. The words that came out of her mouth were not fit for the tender, sculpted ear. She swatted at the poor animal, screeching at the top of her voice.
“Get it off me!”
“It’s just a cow, for goodness’ sake.”
“It has teeth, it will eat me! Those eyes, I am likely to drown in them!” She was hysterical. I was deciding whether a good slap to the face might be appropriate when she took to her heels and ran for the hills. The hand reared cow, thinking this was a new game, set off bravely after the retreating fat figure. She ran, turning around sporadically to hurl blistering cuss words at the docile creature.
To tell the truth, I had never seen the lady run as fast before and I am likely to never witness such an event again. I was laughing so hard that tears ran down my face.