A is for Alien Hand Syndrome



They were looking at me rather strangely. The muse was rapidly scrolling through the numbers she had accumulated for the various shrinks I had seen during the last ten years.
“I cannot control it,” I wailed. My right hand had developed a will of its own and was throwing around signals and semaphores which would cause crash landings at any airport. I would have made a chameleon on a multi-coloured box, quite nauseous.
“Melodrama,” the muse sniffed and turned away to resume sunbathing on the French Riviera.
“I actually think something is the matter with her,” piped up Sir Laughalot.
“I haven’t fallen off the wheel once today. What you see is the genuine article, in my honest opinion,” he added shyly.
My right hand was defiantly grasping at any straws it could find in the room. Tiring of this it devised ingeneous ways to pluck a cat and fluff a pillow at the same time. Moments later, everyone within the confines of my mind was ducking for cover as I threw random objects around the room.
“Crazy woman,” muttered the muse as she reached for her zebra striped cell phone. Agitatedly the dreaded right reached for the cell phone and flung it into Syndrome Lake. This was where all the maladies my various characters suffered from would surface odiferously from time to time. I saw wide, nut brown buttocks in a glittery g-string dive after it. Most of the maladies landed on the floor with a soft thud. She resurfaced ten minutes later with various minor afflictions clinging to her well endowed body.
“Not now,” she demanded and sent the bashful words skittering for cover whilst frantically dialling.
“Hello, yes, we need an extra large straight jacket NOW,” she thundered down the line.
“But, it’s just my hand, everything else seems in good working order. If I didn’t know any better I would think it’s alien.”
“Well, give it something to do then,” she suggested.
I grabbed a broom and swept the disorders back into the lake. They sighed in relief, for as we all know, misery loves company….


About iread1966

Avid reader, published author, artist and pug breeder. Found out I could actually paint and write late in life, but whoopee now that I have found it I'm not letting go. Join the rollercoaster ride of creativity.

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