U is for unilluminated or unnecessary interlude:

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The above is after seeing yourself in the mirror for the first time after your hair has been coloured black.

 

Have you ever combed your hair and had a good look at how many grey hairs have suddenly appeared?
“Don’t pull them out, dear, you already have a bald patch worthy of a comb-over after the last few grey hairs you unceremoniously plucked from existence. You do not, I repeat DO NOT want to look like Donald Trump,” said the Muse looking over my shoulder as I parted my hair and showed her the recalcitrant hairs.
If looks could kill mine would have melted her on the spot and only a fizzling vapour cloud would remain. I refused to answer and instead scratched around in my bathroom cupboard for a box of hair dye. These products are always helpful in showing you the colour your hair is likely to turn out; it even has pictures for goodness sake. How can you go wrong then? Apparently very, very wrong.
On the product is says chocolate brown and shows how my mousy hair will be magicked into a sleek dark brown hair-do. I have frizzy, curly hair and knew the sleek image was a lie, unless you tortured them with a straightener. Thus I worked the dye in evenly and waited the prerequisite 30 minutes only to emerge from the shower with unilluminated hair- black that is, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Now my face looks harsh and resembles a witch’s; all I need is a broomstick, a large hat, a batty familiar and a warty nose and I would be set. There was no chocolate brown in any of the strands I desperately searched through in bright sunlight. I hate it, but then all the grey was washed away as promised, so there is that at least!
40 Funniest Hair and Beauty Memes.
http://photos.essence.com/galleries/40-funniest-hair-and-beauty-memes?slide=321451#321271_321491

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9 responses »

  1. …and we wait (patiently, I might add…or not!) to hear whether Rabab has a hand (or whatever) in this. Is this all part of his evil plan? Is he showing you a way to write with only him (in the background where all true evildoers sit) and The Muse? Nooo! I do hope the rest are quietly chugging away inside, doing their thing, in strong defiance of their proposed downfall! I, for one, shout in their support! Let the voices in your head run riot, I say…

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