Quite suddenly, the air was filled with quixotic whispering. A voice quite clearly said:
“Crawl to your left, just a couple of inches to the left.” I shook my head thinking that the family’s genetic lunacy had gotten hold of me at last.
“Oh, dear she does not realise she has had it since birth,” this the Muse whispered to you, the reader, and I was none the wiser. It’s better if you are kept in the dark about certain things.
The voice sounded slightly ragged, yet still I could not place who it belonged to. I decided that I had nothing to lose and inched my way forward. Apparently one could crawl on the brain cells I had left. Babies manage and so could I, I was after all a 46 year old everything-is-going-South-woman. I squashed my face against the wall, unable to guess the distance between my nose and said wall. I winced in pain. All I could see through the tears was a solid wall. I put my hands out and gingerly patted the wall. I was all but blind as a bat without my spectacles. The bricks which appeared beneath my fingers were slightly raised. As in all the movies one just had to press against them and Viola! A trapdoor suddenly appeared. The hole behind it was pitch black, yet I decided to crawl through. I can hear you all screaming: “Noooo!! Don’t do it, we may lose you!” the very next moment, I was falling through space and my name had changed to Alice!
I landed with a thump and on the other side of the world a new mountain range was born- I did mention I was slightly overweight.
My thanks to Linda Andres for giving me the hilarious solution to my questionable predicament. Find her blog at http://stellasstarshine.blogspot.ca/2014/04/quietude.html