“Triassic, Jurassic or Cretaceous?” she asked and I was surprised at the knowledge contained in the bee hive which was still being circled by drones; their black and yellow bodies flashing in the artificial light.
“Not one of the three. It is actually a long tailed badger, ratel or moch daear. They have lived in the British Isles for between 300 000 and 400 000 years.”
“Rattle, mock deer? Are you on drugs, dear?”
“Ratels is the Afrikaans and moch daears or earth pigs is the Welsh name for badgers,” I sighed.
“You really should pay attention to enunciation,” I said pointedly. She had mangled the two words beyond belief. And she called herself an author’s muse?
“Hmf and here I thought English was the language of choice? Seems I have been sadly mistaken. Are we writing in a hodgepodge of languages now? If so, I have definitely not received the memo,” she sniffed, glaring at me over her horn rimmed spectacles. She knew I would back off; it was par for the course.
“Well, they look flea-ridden to me,” she said and whimpered at the thought of having a badger in her general vicinity.
“Contrary to your erroneous opinion, badgers are clean animals. They will not defecate in their sett and carry out old hay, grass or plastic bags to prevent the build up of fleas and lice. Thus cleaner than…well, half of the human population, I would say.”
“Trying to sound clever, are we? It only takes a nudge, dear,” she said, staring pointedly in the direction of a sweating Sir Laughalot.
For more information on the honey badger, wander over here: