(with Camp NanoWrimo, April 2014, thrown in somewhere)
“Are we going to DO THIS?” she asked, emphasising the last two words with elaborate swishes of her newly acquired pom-poms. The noise woke up Sir Laughalot who promptly fell off his wheel. Looks like I was back to being a Neanderthal once again.
“Huh?” I answered.
“Duh,” she said helping Sir Laughalot into an upright position, ready to continue powering my brain.
“Without you she’s a tad stupid; one level removed from idiot and two from imbecile,” she whispered theatrically. Sir Laughalot smiled. He blushed deeply; beetroot red.
“I heard that,” I said, sweeping the last of the errant brain cells together. They were tough little buggers and had withstood 46 years of punishment thus far. I expected a lot of them and they knew it.
“The A-Z blog challenge, dear. I sincerely hope that it will be entertaining and not dark and dreary like the rest of your writing.” Her words hit home and I could feel the inevitable anger building up. How dare she say that my writing was dark and dreary- was that how the average reader saw it too? If it was, I was in a shitload of trouble. The self doubt crept in, eating away at my resolve to be an author.
‘Just kidding, dear,” she said, “don’t be so anal retentive. It’s merely a joke.”
“Grrrr,” I said.
“Imbecile level attained,” she whispered to Sir Laughalot.
“Grrr,” I said again.
“Back to idiocy. That was quick wasn’t it, a new record even for her.” Sir Laughalot peeked at me, gauging whether it would be alright to laugh or keep his silence. He chose the latter, though I could see his cheeks were bulging with restrained laughter. He spun the wheel, trying to help me out; he was a good soul.
“Yes, I will be doing the challenge and the camp thingy,” I said through clenched teeth.
“What did you say, dear? Your jaw seems to be locked or wired together or something.”
I huffed and puffed but could not find a house to blow down.
“You should really see a doctor about that, dear,” she said. “You look positively apoplectic. Anyway, just wanted to see if you were ready for the first of April. Don’t be a fool, dear, be prepared, readers are not stupid, you know.” She left the room with a wave of her pudgy fingers and climbed back into my overcrowded brain.
Ready or not, here I come; I thought and hoped that she would behave herself. An entire month was a lot to ask of her and me for that matter. As for the reader, I sincerely hope that you will be able to cope with both of us; it promises to be wild and enjoyable …a free rollercoaster ride with all the ups and downs that entails. Hold on tight…here we go….