She was standing over me with her magnifying glass which made her look like a bad rendition of a Cyclops. I squinted at the huge eye which suddenly filled my vision. The lady herself was larger than life and being accosted by her giant eye, left me feeling confused and a bit more frightened than I would have cared to admit.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked the frustration (fear driven) in my voice hanging in the air like smog.
“I’m investigating, Watson.”
I had to ask, “What exactly are you investigating?”
“It’s elementary my dear Watson.”
Of course she was going to use the line, how stupid of me not to have foreseen it. I sighed and decided to play along.
“Well, Holmes if it is that elementary why don’t you shed some light on the subject, please.” It was the only way to get her to go back inside my head; she was stubborn that way and insisted on having her share of the limelight.
“The case of the broken laptop of course,” she stated boldly.
“You heard about that, did you?”
“Well, dear, your bawling was loud enough to wake the sloth and he is buried deep within your childhood memories, you know.”
“What sloth?” I asked, taken aback by her statement, “and I wasn’t bawling.”
“Sure, you weren’t dear,” she said rolling her eyes and sighing melodramatically. She ignored my question and started investigating more clues through the magnifying glass.
“I asked you a question, about the sloth…”
“Oh yes, well, you conjured him up when you were two or thereabouts,” she said concentrating her efforts on the desk. Talking to her was infuriating to say the least.
“I think I may have found a clue! Eureka! Hmm, it seems someone has been eating chocolate when they know they shouldn’t.” She looked at me over the rim of the magnifying glass. Her nose had suddenly gown to the size of a pitted asteroid.
“No. I have not,” I declared angrily. I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that my sugar levels pretty much did as they pleased, despite vigorous (or less so) efforts on my behalf.
“Well the Kit Kat wrapper says yes!”