She had guts to boot. I wouldn’t for the life of me appear naked in public. I was far too reticent to do anything remotely close. No author alive would want publicity like that, except the lady who wrote the shade trilogy, anyway to each his own, I supposed.
“Sour grapes?” the muse asked.
“Hmf,” was all I said as I tried to come to terms with the fact that her large body was aquiver with excitement. All the rolls, valleys, hills and gullies seemed to take their cue from each other like a contagious disease and quivered to their own internal rhythm.
She sighed,” They can’t see me until you write about it, which is going to be sooner rather than later, judging from the look on your face. Only then do I become real and you better use words that flatter me, or else…” she left the threat hanging in the air.
I kept my mouth shut, fearing yet another invasion of flies and paid to commit my life to cords which have been made in an obscure country nobody has ever heard of. I sincerely hoped they plaited unicorn hair into the fibres.
Let’s back up a second. How were they going to strap her in if they couldn’t see her and was I supposed to pay for two tickets or one? What would the consequences be if someone recognised me and the article in the newspaper read: Author seen indulging in wild fantasies, kept babbling on about a fat muse?
“You think too much, dear, which is exactly why we are here. You need to live a little and no, living through characters in black on white is not living. Yes, dear I know you plan on living once the great South African novel is finished, but this is now not ten years down the line.” She stood with her hands planted in the folds of her waist and stared at me from under peacock blue lids.
“Things have a tendency to sort themselves out without your help,” she said as she weaved the extra rope on the ground over and around her flesh and put on the heavy duty harness. The rope all but disappeared and I wondered whether I had seen it at all.
“You need excitement, how else will you be able to write about it?” she continued as she slipped the rope through the carabiner and locked it in place.
Here is how to make bungee cord bracelets we are going to have some cord left over at the end of the story http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51ZzFuFDM9U