Blue, bluer, bluest….
Aaarrgghhh second week blues have hit like a tidal wave and has washed me up on a deserted island where the excruciating sun fried my brain cells (I wonder if there is a dwarf somewhere knitting some new brain cells). The remaining ones were hijacked by screeching red-arsed monkeys, chattering away about word count, plot, character growth and…..The rest was garbled because monkeys do not speak as a rule and they were moving off to a different banana tree and anyway I wasn’t listening. As it was only me on the island to begin with you have to make do with my point of view.
I wandered along, picking up some shells and driftwood and made a passable necklace strung together with bits of seaweed- this is what you get up to when your brain cells have all taken a momentary leave of their senses. I was a drooling idiot among many insentient creatures. The only words that were forthcoming amounted to gobbledygook, harsh grunts and ghostly whispers. A silver light bulb appeared above my head and briefly flashed its Morse code message. Hunger-thirst the flashcard read and I stumbled around looking for anything that seemed appetizing.
On the island a rare species lived, which had never been seen before. They stood on six and a quarter legs and loped ungainly.They had four pairs of eyes scattered around their body which gave new meaning to the phrase “to have eyes in the back of your head” Every half an hour or so a sizzling steak would grow out of the various pores on its body. I scurried to the ungainly creature on all fours (one loses bipedal abilities along with brain cells it seems) and snatched at a large, juicy piece. My fingers were on fire- apparently the insides of the beast consisted of large grills and fiery coals. Only then did I notice the spurts of steam escaping through its nostrils.I slapped my hand against my forehead in an ancient gesture of stupidity which made my burnt fingers scream out in pain.
Water, I found quite by accident while observing a flightless bird sticking its beak into a tubular reed. Clear water ran out and the bird drank to its heart’s content.I presumed to do the same with my blunt beak but had to settle for a sharp stick after various fruitless attempts.
Fed and watered I found a nice shiny bottle, a scrap of paper and a piece of charcoal. Yes, there is a bush that produces these on the island. I wrote HELP and threw it in the waves….it washed back out three times, silly me.
Please, if you find my bottle with the message scrawled inside that reads HELP please do so and bring me back, this story ain’t gonna write itself.